Monday, March 19, 2007

Your Ninth Life Is Up, My Feline Friend...

When your Mom tells you it's time to update your blog, it's, uh, really time to update your blog.

Do you ever feel like, sometimes everyone is in The Know? And you are out of The Know? It's a rather awkward feeling, especially when you're me. And you like to pretend you freakin' LIVE in The Know. I'm, like, the Mayor and shit.

Anyway, the other day I was totally NOT in The Know.

The Scene: I'm driving to the bank. Whee!

Z-Girl: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! I LOVE this song!

Z-Girl: *turns up the radio loud enough so that everyone within 20 feet of my car and The Turtle can hear it* In the aaaaaaaaaaaarms of an angel...far away from here...

Z-Girl: Dude, why are people looking at me? I'm not singing that loud...

Z-Girl: Hmm, now they're pointing...

Z-Girl: ...in this cold dark hotel room...

Z-Girl: What in the fuck is that guy's problem??? Flashing his lights! Is he trying to tell me something?

Right about now, my lifetime membership to the Genius Club should have been revoked. Immediately. And perhaps the Mental and Visual Acuity Guild should reconsider my application.

Z-Girl: Okay, now he's waving his arms, trying to get my attention. Something is up...

Z-Girl: *Turns down the music and pokes her head, annoyedly, I might add, out the window* WHAT?!?!

Dude in the Car Behind Me: Blah, blah, blah, BLAH!

Z-Girl: What? I can't hear you!

DITCBM: THERE'S A CAT ON YOUR CAR ROOF!

Z-Girl: *silence*

As I'm driving down Main Street in the middle of March, in a ski town, SPRING BREAK 2008, RAAAAAAAAH!, people, hordes and crowds of the fuckers, begin to gather around me.

Z-Girl: *smacks forehead*

Z-Girl: *Turns, slowly, onto a side road*

The crowd of people follow.

Z-Girl: You have got to be fucking kidding me. *steps out of the car* Indeed, no one is fucking kidding me.

There sat, or rather, should I say, splayed out as flat as she could be, was Zoey. I'm sure the folks gathered 'round me enjoyed the show. A pregnant lady, trying to fish a cat off her car roof without smooshing her unborn. I finally got my hands on her and tossed her into the car, while everyone cheered.

It was embarassing. And also? A little freaky. I had driven two miles. Going a maximum speed of about 40. Ish. Maybe 45. Because the speed limit is 40 and I abide strongly by the '5 miles an hour over' rule.

Anyway, we're all safe and sound now. Though, hopefully, next time Zoey will know to jump the hell off the car when it starts. I don't know how I missed her when I left. All I can think is that she was laying down, baking gloriously in the sun, like a cat on a hot car roof, and I drive a jeep and happen to not be all that tall, and missed her.

Anywho...

Things on the Turtle front are still hunky dory. Here's a gratuitous photo for your viewing pleasure. Have you ever heard of orbs in photographs? Some think they are spirits of the deceased. Check out the orb floating right by my belly. I like to think it's a dead relative keeping an eye on things in there...

18 Leg Humps:

Slick said...

Ha...amusing. Someone needed to videotape that!

DelBoy said...

I laughed so hard that my 10month old son started laughing too!

kylei said...

That is a real orb how awesome is that?!?!?! and your looking amazing - what is with me and As today - when is your due date btw?

Jen said...

I would have freaked out if I found one of my pets on top of my Jeep! I can't even imagine. Silly kitty- glad she hung on so well.

junebee said...

Only you, Zube. Riding around singing at the top of your lungs with a kitty hanging on to the roof for dear life.
And that's a great belly. Fantastic. But are you SUPPOSED to be out of bed, young lady?!

-Junebee

Rich | Championable said...

Glad to hear things are tooling along, amigo.

Anonymous said...

I teared up a little when I saw the pic of you looking all round. I am so happy for your that you have made it so far! congratulations, and good luck, and stay rested, and prepare yourself for the pain of the breasts! (breastfeeding or not, there is no joy in engorgement)

Crazy Lady said...

Poor Zoey - I bet she was so freaked out!

I think that is a family member right there with you, checking in on Turtle. When we had a friend killed in an accident last fall, all the pictures from his wake had orbs. Not just one camera, either.

mothergoosemouse said...

You look fantastic!!

And I'm just dying over here, thinking about a cat on a hot car roof. So glad she's okay.

Miss Cellania said...

Poor kitty! But the picture in my head (a cartoon) of the cat hanging on for dear life while you sing, that was hilarious!

And you are definitely glowing in that photo.

PaintingChef said...

Nice. That's hysterical but at least people warned you. That was kind of cool of them. Has Zoey recovered yet?

RisibleGirl said...

Hi-larious!

Oh, and love-love-LOVE the picture!

::girly squeal::

Happy Villain said...

OMG, you look so absolutely adorable pregnant! Yay Zube! Nice save with Zoey, too! You should get one of those stuffed cats with suction cups on the paws and stick it to the roof of your car as an homage to one of Zoey's lives. Nice to see that there are cat lovers in your neck of the woods. Makes me wonder if Phil would've honked to cheer you on. Interesting song you were singing and orb hovering around your belly -- hmmmmm...

Rainypete said...

I'm glad Zoey is okay and that turtle is doing fine.

I laughed so hard that my co-worker wandered over to see what was going on. He just shook his head and said "cats..." and wandered off muttering something to himself.

Phil said...

Yet another example of how dogs are smarter than cats . . . no way in hell you'd ever catch a dog doing something as stupid as laying on top of the car even after the human started it up.

I absolutely love the kiddie clothes clothesline on the wall . . . it's like a Christmas card display, only better :)

Phil
Echoes in a Nomad's Head

hotdrwife said...

This reminds me of a time we were taking off for a ridiculously painful family vacation (starting out in eastern Colorado, where I grew up). Almost halfway to our destination, we discovered that the crazy sound coming from the back of the car was my favorite (read: meanest) farm cat in the trunk. We had to turn around and go home. My dad was supremely hacked off.

You look glowing!! So excited for all of you!

PS OH MY GOD!! My word verification? I kid you not --- has ORB right it!! Holy crap.

serap said...

That story is so funny - but clearly not for poor Zoey! Glad she is ok. You look amazing in the photo, so glad that things are going well.

Loon said...

LMAO I found your blog from Grrlie and I absolutely LOVE every entry I have read thus far.

I'm also a former Jersey girl ;)

That DOES look like an orb. Hmm, me thinks your Grandma's sayin' "Hiya" :)

I believe in things like that ... spirits/angels and such :)

You will most certainly have a long-term reader here!

 

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