Probably Won't Find This First in the Baby Books...

Zee Baby went to her first Gay Pride Rally...




We went to a rally organized by the local high school here in support of gay rights and in honor of the Day of Silence.

Most importantly we wanted to support our friends' son who, as a Senior in high school, just came out. When I was in high school, I got all bitter about all of the things that happened to rhyme with 'Zube' and the fact that my classmates were literary geniuses (geniui?) in poetry. Booby, dooby, booty, you get the picture. Come to find out, I had it easy.

Anyway, I'd love for you all to send my friends' son some loving, supportive vibes right now...'cause those are the best kind. It might be nice if you expressed them here. I'm not one to beg for comments but sometimes when you do something hard it's nice to know that people are supporting you, out there thinking you're tough as shit and all...I should know. I'd like, if possible, to give him visible proof of just how much he rocks.

I want to thank him for speaking tonight at the rally. And for taking a step toward making the world my daughter grows up in a better, more accepting place. I want her to know that she'll be accepted for who she is, no matter who she loves, and without people like him today, that might not happen tomorrow.

Chris, I'm proud of you, kid.

Come On...

The DHL guy stopped by some moments ago and saw my coworker and I in the back office(during the ski sesason we usually close the blinds so we don't get random skiers walking in looking for the front desk, but since the ski resort is mother-fucking closed, WOOT! we're letting in the light). Anyhow, seeing as how A (coworker) and I were sitting there, he decided to walk right in rather than passing us by on his way to the front desk...

DHL Guy: Hey, I saw you guys sitting here, so I hope you don't mind...

A: Eh, you just wanted to come in my back door.

He promptly turned around and walked out and met us at the front desk.

Has anyone seen my shit? I seem to have lost it.

Also, I'm going to be rocking a new look around here. I'm in dire need of a breath of fresh air, figuratively speaking.

I Got Your Back...

...'Cause that's how I roll.

So, in a nutshell (a nutshell about as big as your frackin' head, mind you) here's the deal with Zee Baby. And why I'm a little worried. Or maybe I'm just worried that I should be worried. I'm not exactly sure about anything but that there is worry involved. Somehow.

You may remember that Zee Baby was born by c-section because she was breech. And had been breech for a REALLY long time. I remember the doctors telling me from 26 weeks on, "Oh, the baby has plenty of time to turn," each time I had an ultrasound and she had her hiney aimed down the chute. They were singing a different song by 36 weeks and at 37 weeks we scheduled a c-section for 39 weeks, only she decided all on her own to be borned at 38 weeks. (For some reason I just started singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall in my head...)

She was kind of weirdly jacked up in there. Her left leg sort of scrunched up under and behind her tush and her right leg straight up in front of her face. I've drawn a picture of her in utero...



...which will probably leave you even more confused than my description alone did. So to give you, perhaps, a better idea, this is what she looked like just moments after emerging all Alien-Style from mah belly...



...Okay, first, AWWWWWW! Ahem. Now that that's out of the way.

In the nursery the nurses called her The Ballerina because whenever she was released from the vice-like grip of The Hospital Blanket Burrito Wrap, her little legs defaulted to that position. And, while changing her diaper, they'd opine about how she looked as though she were mid-leap in a performace, lacking only the ballet slippers.

Anywho, I wouldn't be so concerned about Zee's love for sitting and loathe for crawling but for that whole breech thing. And for the fact that she was in the same position for almost three months. And we've also noticed recently that...






She STILL seems to default to that position. And having noticed that while looking through pictures, I guess I'm just a little concerned that maybe, just maybe, being in that position for so long, in addition to looking REALLY fucking uncomfortable, might have actually messed with her little baby muscles some. You know? And maybe it's something we shouldn't ignore or brush off as 'in her own time' and all that.

Or maybe, just maybe, she's just happy to sit and throw her board books around already and she'll crawl when she damn well pleases! I mean, really, what's the damn use in crawling anyway? Who crawls? I know I haven't. Not since college anyway. And I'm sure even if she NEVER gets this crawling thing down, she'll get herself home from the bars somehow. Us Zube girls are efficient as hell like that.

In the end, I guess it's something I'd like to look into because I'd prefer to find out early that all's good and I'm worrying over nothing than to wish a few months or a year down the road that I'd looked into sooner.

So there's that...

(78 bottles of beer on the wall...)

Are You There, God? It's Me, Zube Girl...

I miss my pregnancy boobs. I never was a very buxom girl. I more rocked the flat-chested waif look in college. And then the flat-chested chunker once I hit 30. And then, voila! Knocked up! With boobies! Whee!

It was very exciting to have cleavage for the first time. And I'd kind of hoped to keep at least a bit of it. Just a small crevice, not wanting to be greedy or anything. But, 'twas not meant to be. They deflated about as fast as a blown up balloon realeased unto the living room amongst a pajama clad clan of giggling school girls at a birthday party. Yup. I think they very nearly made that same pffffffffffbt sound as their blessed volume did flee.

The thing is, I never really minded being flat-chested. It kind of suited me. And I didn't really know any different. Plus I have a sweet ass, so I flaunted that. But what I'm not too keen on now is the fact that, like the aforementioned balloon in the metaphor above, when they grew, the surface area increased. And when they deflated, well, imagine that balloon again. Airless and floppier than when it was pinched from the bag. I was left with excess surface area. And decreased volume. So now, I've got small, saggy boobs. And that's just totally unfair.*

I always said that I thought implants are stupid, but I gotta tell you that I can understand a teeny bit why some women get them after they're done having their kids. Just sayin'.

Also, I can't even tell you all how much I've appreciated your comments regarding Zee Baby over here. Many, many thanks. That said, we're a bit worried about Zee Baby. And her non-crawling-ness. Not in any 'comparing my baby to other people's babies' way. But we're actually looking into seeing if there may be a real problem. I'm not exactly in the headspace to get into it right now, so more on that later. But just know that you're good thoughts, healthy hips and legs vibes would be much appreciated right now.

Peace out...

*DISCLAIMER- I hope you all know that when I bitch about ANYTHING pregnancy related, it is just, well, bitching. And I wouldn't trade my current state for the world. I sometimes feel guilty bitching. But, you know, that's what I do here half the time. So, yeah...

Pinked Out

I like to pretend Zee Baby likes dinosaurs.






But really, I like dinosaurs.

I'm totally not all pinky-pinky girly-girl and I dress Zee in all of the wonderful colors of the rainbow. I'm not morally opposed to pink. It's a cool color. But sometimes it seems like the only color out there for girls clothes. So, I find myself shopping, as you'll notice above, in the boy's section. Eh well.

That said, I think it's kind of funny that her most favoritest blanket in the world that she sleeps with every night? Is this pink silky number with a shoe and a tiara on it that says, "I'm a Princess."

Ha! I'm hoping she'll be a happy blend of both Tomboy and Princess. That'll work.

Boredom...

I made a present for my honey and I thought I'd share it with you. Just a warning...You do not want to play the video if you're at work. The song is a little, erm, offensive. Just sayin'.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com