Because I'm a Fucking Supah Stah!

Just a heads up. The pigeon feather threat…It was idle. If you are just DYING to interrogate me, and don’t want to post the meme, that’s okay. I really don’t have time to stalk people, much less go around searching for pigeon feathers, what with a husband, three cats and a dog, and Brad Pitt up my ass all the time. So, bring it on people.

I would like to request that ya’ll keep in mind that each comment multiplied by three is the number of questions I have to answer, so let’s not get crazy. The last time I posted a meme with no reciprocal responsibility of meme-postage, I was inundated. Which was cool then because it was a pretty easy one, but this one could get ugly. I mean, 26 X 3 is 78 interview questions, and that’s a fucking lot. That’s a number that kind of scares me.

So I don’t leave my first three interviewers hanging, here’s the first round. I’ll update if I get more.

Rick Stilwell of Caffeinated Adventures asked:

1. What is your favorite movie of all time - the one that will make you drop everything to watch whenever it's on TNT?
Heathers. Love, love, love it. I think Christian Slater is the best thing since sliced bread, and I totally dig Winona Ryder. Oh, wait. Second runner up would be Alice in Wonderland. I feel like Alice quite often. In fact, she may be the subject of my next tattoo, if I can convince Zube Boy to let me get one. Well, he wouldn't NOT let me do anything, but I need to know that he'll still find me the babe he does today if I do it.

2. Where are your keys right now, and why?
In my purse, because if they weren’t, I’d NEVER find them. I hate when I come home in a rush and set them somewhere, because I feel so LOST without them. Even if I don’t need to drive anywhere for days. Who me? A control freak? Maybe a little.

3. If you could ask God anything, and He answered you back - what would that mean to you?
It would mean that I am right, and there is *something* bigger than myself out there in the ether loving me. I actually do feel answered by that *something* quite often; not necessarily by words but by feelings.

Woah. Rick, you’ve tricked me! I’ve let out my sappy Zube. The hopeful one. The one who knows she's not alone even when she feels she is. But, that’s okay. She likes to come out and play, too.


Christine of Blood and Tears asked:

1. What was the most expensive single item of clothing you have ever bought for yourself?
Hmmm…This is tough, because I’m SO not a clothes shopper. Which is a little sad, because I’ve made it such a priority to put my money into our house, that sometimes I think my living room looks better than I do.

But, a few years ago, I spent $90 on the most awesome pair of boots. I was so sad when I had to retire them. *sniff* I’ve tried to find another similar pair, but I’m even less inclined to spend that much money on a pair of shoes than I was back then.

2. If you could have a conversation with ANYONE, living or dead, who would it be? And Why?
Harriet Tubman. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had the same answer to that question. She just sounds like an amazing fucking person, and one helluva strong woman despite all of the huge obstacles she was up against. And, not only was she strong for herself, but for other people. That astounds and inspires me.

You know, I would’ve had a different answer for a couple of years in my early twenties. Jerry Garcia. I still think he’s cool as shit, but I’ve stopped smoking pot since those days, and the urge to meet him isn’t quite so strong.

3. What color are the sheets that are on your bed right now?

Black. And they need to be washed. Shit.


Phil of Echoes in a Nomad’s Head asked:

1. What is the longest period of time you've worn one pair of underwear without washing it?
I would have to say, two days. MAYBE two and a half, but that’s a stretch because I’m kind of anal about that shit. But, you know, sometimes you go camping and decide to stay for an extra night or two without enough supplies. What can I say?

2. Who is your favorite porn star of all time and why?

Okay, I am SO not a prude, and I think porns are funnier than hell. I used to hang out with a group of guys several years ago, and they would kind of forget once in a while that I lacked a, ahem, certain appendage. So, we would be in the video store checking out the dirty movies and I’d have to pipe in every once in a while with, “Yo. Guys. Girl on girl action is okay, but could we get at least one with some dudes?” Hee. What the fuck is it with guys all hanging out together watching porn. I’ll never understand that.

That said, I don't know the names of ANY porn stars. Damn.

3. If you HAD to live for one day as an item in your bathroom, what would it be and why?
A mirror on the door. In front of the toilet. Not to be too demanding or anything, but I want to see the funny faces people make when they pinch a loaf, AND THEN the funny faces they make when they catch their funny pooing faces in me. The mirror. Yes.

Kjersten of Mezmerotonous asked:

1. What was your favorite class in college?
Philosophy. Though I failed it. Or wait. I think I actually scraped by with a D. But, after the class was over, I read the entire text and was like, "Huh. Philosophy is kind of cool." I did that with a lot of my classes. I'm not a big fan of structured learning.

2. What was your first job? (babysitting and lawn mowing type jobs don't count)
So, my paper route from ages 11 to 14 aside, my first job would be when I was sixteen. I worked at a farmer's market selling flowers, fruits, and vegetables. I dated the son of the owners, a farm-hand, for a few months. He turned out to be a lying wack job like none other. Apparently he married a girl who looks a lot like me. He was a little, um, obsessed shall we say. I broke up with him, and just never returned.

3. What is your most favorite book of all time?
This is hard as shit, because I LOVE reading and LOVE books. I'd have to say, A Wrinkle in Time. I still try kything every once in a while.

Courtney of Five Second Dance Party asked:

1. What movie/tv star do you wish would just curl up and die already?
Paris Hilton. For real. She's famous for being fucking...rich? That pisses me off.

2. Is there any food that you can't tolerate? What is it? And not because of allergies-just because you hate it.
Stuffing. Ever since I was young I have HATED stuffing. I actually dry heave when I try to eat it. I don't like the texture, the way it looks, the taste. EW.

What was the most awkward situation you've ever found yourself in?
You know, I would have to say the couple of days before my wedding. Everyone around me was happy, and all I could do was cry and throw up. I was terrified that people would realize once the party started just how little I spent on it, blood, sweat and tears notwithstanding. I hired a DJ and a caterer. I made my own invitations, grew my own nails and had my sister do a french manicure, ordered flowers online and made my own bouquets, boutineers, and centerpieces, had friends bartend, had his Dad marry us, and on and on and on. In the few days preceding, I worried incessantly that everyone there would realize I didn't have money coming out of my ass, and had spent less than $5,000, which, if you've never had a wedding, is a fairly small amount for 104 guests.

In the end, it was a blast. And I got nothing but compliments. I was even told I should be a wedding planner. I was like, "Fuck that noise." Planning one was enough. Ergo, I'll be married forever. Promise.