Thursday, January 26, 2006

A King, A Queen, and a Party

Now that I've shared with you what a Queen does on her day off, I'm wondering just what in the fuck a King does on his day off when the Queen is working? Huh? That's what I want to know.

I have a couple of ideas. I think that as soon as the Queen departs, the King leaps out of bed and pilfers through her underwear drawer. This is followed by a brief foray through the palace with her panties on his head. This is the ONLY explantion I can think of to clarify why the Queen's underwear seems to be everywhere. Because LORD KNOWS, a Queen wouldn't just toss them wherever she might happen to be when she takes them off. And the Royal Subjects SURELY wouldn't see fit to carry them here and there just for shits and giggles.

I do know that sometimes the King shovels snow off of the palace roof. I know this because he tells me. AND I'm the most fucking OBSERVANT Queen there is and I see the tell-tale piles of snow surrounding the palace when I get home. Anyway, knowing that King's have to do shit like this when they have the palace all to themselves kind of makes me glad I'm the Queen.

Other than that, it's a mystery. I mean, if I were the King, I would probably sit around staring at pictures of the Queen all day wondering when the hell she'll be home because I SO, SO, SO miss rubbing her feet. But maybe that's just me.

Oh, by the way, if I had a party, would you all come? Because I feel kind of dorky having internet friends, so I figured if we all hung out and shot the shit and drank beer and stuff, I'd be less of a dork. Bonanza and PaintingChef, I'll even invite Mr. Clooney, even though he'll probably cart Brad's ass here, but hey, friendship is all about sacrifice, right?

I'm also considering inviting that green sillhouette chick up there. She seems pretty cool and I'd like to figure out what the hell she's all about. I bet that bitch can PARTAY! Really. Though, she looks a tad crazy, and it'd be really weird trying to have a conversation with a sillhouette. But hell. I'll try anything once.

27 Leg Humps:

Bonanza Jellybean said...

I'm SO there!!! And make sure you invite Matthew for me too, because I have the feeling PC's going to move in on George the minute he gets there. A girl always needs a back-up.

And what do they do at home? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Unless you leave them a list.

Samantha said...

That would be so cool! I was just telling Chris how much I wanted to see where you lived, we never get snow down here!

PaintingChef said...

You KNOW I'd be there...and I think that green chick is the one we should have tending bar...she's looking like she might mix a mean margarita!

When my king has the day off, I usually leave him a list of palace duties because otherwise he'd be in front of that playstation (cough cough) all damn day!

mmmm...George...Zube, that is SUCH a sacrifice to invite him for me even when you KNOW he'll bring your psycho stalker. YOU are a true friend!

Vic said...

I'm all about a party. I'm there if you can tolerate the southern drawl...

Phil said...

Why wouldn't the Queen just drop her panties wherever? Is it not the Royal Subjects' (or the King's) responsibility to put those things away? Is Her Royal Highness expected to {gasp} put her own incidentals away? How uncouth.

And I would so love to be invited to a Zube party! Of course, there's a good chance I wouldn't be able to attend, simply because I have no money and couldn't afford the trip. Unless, of course, you garunteed that Hoot was gonna be there. Then I'd make sure I could afford it, even if I had to sell a kidney. lol

Phil
Echoes in a Nomad's Head

nelle said...

I'm there!
And I have to agree with Bonanza...they don't do a damn thing. Although yours does seem to be a bit more thoughtful, so you never know.....

junebee said...

Hey, I'd love to come to a Zube party. Except, uh, someone needs to take care of the Branch and Blossom.

That should be a reality show, a blogger invites all her readers to a kick-ass party. I would love to meet the King and the Royal Subjects too.

lysie6211 said...

Don't feel like a dork for having internet friends. They just as good (sometimes better) then friends that live by you. I have a whole bunch of friends I know from the internet that I have met up with and PARTAYED my ass off. (Hogs and Heifers - NYC wow.)

I would so be there! I make some mean cocktails myself. Red Headed Sluts anyone????

Kylei said...

Kylei said...
I want to go to the party... being as I am currently knocked up- I would love to help outwith the Bar tending

My daddy started training me at the rip ol age of oh hell I dunno as soon as I could count to 6 and 12 because thats how you messure out drinks. Also you always start with a lil booze and work your way up to a lot- that way they don't realise how dunck they are!

Nicky said...

I think the green chick may have partied just a bit too much already. Her green hue kinda gives it away!

Zube Girl said...

Bonanza- I will definitely invite Matthew. He's a cutie.

Heh. The list. You know, I've never given a list. Not once. Yet. Never say never ever!

Samantha- It would be too cool. And we could even stick all the beer outside in the snow to keep it cold!

PaintingChef- Le sigh! I know how to sacrifice! Heh. And I think the green chick would be a great bartender.

Vic- I LOVE the southern drawl. I really do!

Phil- You know, I think that if everyone else were going to spend all the money to come out, Hoot could, too!

EllenJay- Yeah, he's always tearing stuff down and I'll come home to find him up to his ears in drywall and stuff. He likes to keep busy. Ahem. Unlike certain other members of the household (Who? Me?)

Junebee- Yeah, I haven't really worked out the details of babysitters and such. Hmm...

Lysie- I would LOVE to try a red-headed slut for the first time!

Kylei- You and green chick are the bartenderettes, then. It is done!

Nicky- Heh. You may be onto something there!

Bonanza Jellybean said...

Now you HAVE to do a list. I need to revise mine...

Effortlessly Average said...

Personally I don't think the list would work. My Queen leaves this King a list all the time and all that's changed when she returns to the Palace is that the list is stuck to the counter via a ring of coffee that sloshed over the side of the cup when the King was pouring.

Not that the King does NOTHING, just that the King will spend his days off doing whatever he damned well pleases, not following a to-do list like it was just another work day. lol.

Oh, and Zube, I quoted you yesterday on my blog. Hope that's ok, especially since I linked to you too in the post. The item I quoted wasn't the most complimentary thing in the world, so I figured I'd link to you and let those who read follow it get the full Zube experience.

Crazy Lady said...

I think the rolls are reversed in our palace. This Queen ends up doing all the damn work, and I think the King gets to stay at home and watch sports and eat salsa. I think I need a palace coup d'etat, boot that king out of my rightful salsa eatin' thrown!

Tessa said...

PARRRRTAY! I'm there!
I call dibs on the first ride on Zack.
(Just kidding, but good gravey he looks like a big boy!)

Tessa said...

Oh yeah and 'red headed sluts' are delish!

Rich | Championable said...

There are some things that are meant to be left unknown.

junebee said...

Gee, that's too bad (about the babysitters). You and I could have had a few beers then I could show you some spy rolls. That is, if there's no snow on the ground! I'm a weenie when it comes to cold.

Amy said...

Shoveling snow off the roof? Now, you know, that is going to make for some interesting lectures for future Zube kids. "When I was your age, I shoveled snow off the driveway AND the roof... BAREFOOT!!"

Or something like that...

As for the party, tell me, at that elevation do you catch a buzz faster?
I've always wondered that.

Minerva said...

I am COMING...

Oh, yeah..aeroplanes...erm..anyone got a spare ticket?

Minerva

Chickie said...

I think Kings sit around and scratch themselves a lot. And watch infomercials.

Can I bring Tiny dog to the party? She can shoot tequila with the best of them.

banquo said...

I LOVES a party!!!! I will try really hard to make it - maybe I can get Phil to sell a portion of his liver too - cause I am so broke at the moment too, and you have NO idea how much a plane ticket from S.A to USA costs.

And I love Cosmopolitans - mmmm!! We can have cosmos and tequilas and beer and margaritas... hoo, I fool so feelish (hic) - dunno who is me! And the drunker I stand here, the longer I get (swagger). And I dont care, cause I'll have all day sober to sunday up!! PAAAARRRRTTTAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!

kyknoord said...

Don't worry, your silhouette can talk to your profile

Erika said...

As I'm usually gone and Ross is a slacker student I am not really sure what he does. But when I return I tend to find weird bits of wadded up kleenex all about the house. Once he cooked fish in the bathroom in a rotisserie. When I asked why he would only say that the ventilation in there is superior. hm.

Gary said...

Don't worry about the dork thing, Zube. When the internet takes over the world, and it will, then everyone will be a dork.

Debi said...

Ohhh Party...Just add Karaoke and I'm there! *grin*

Lisa said...
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