Saturday, March 11, 2006

Here We Go Again. Actually, Again Again. Or Maybe Not.

So, how much do ya'll think the above gear might weigh? Care to venture a guess? Eh. I know. It's kind of tough to know for sure, and I wouldn't have had a CLUE how much it weighed until I went to the doctor yesterday. Now, I'm certain. The above garments, I hereby swear, weigh 18 pounds. They must. I mean, check out the clunky shoes. They're at least five pounds each.

That's the story I told Zube Boy, anyway. See, the scale at the doctor's office said 148. And I do declare that that is just plain WRONG! I KNOW for a fact that I weigh 130. Granted, that's five pounds heavier than what my license says, but the way I see it, if they don't ask me when I renew my license, if I've gained weight, I don't have to offer that information up. I think the Motor Vehicles people should be doing the investigatin' and shit. Besides, maybe I LOOK like I weigh 125, which is really the salient point of having your weight listed on your license, right? Right? I thought so.

NO WONDER I'm exhausted after work. Who the hell wouldn't be after traipsing around the office all day wearing 18 pounds of clothing?

You may be wondering why I went to the doctor in the first place. Or you may not be. I'm going to tell you anyway, because it's important and stuff and may explain a lot. Like my blog hiatus.

As much as I'd like to explain, all I can really muster is to say Here We Go Again. Well, maybe.

Do not read further if you're squeamish...

We've got weirdness going on down in the nether regions, which doesn't fare well since I got a positive pregnancy test a week ago.

I came home from work yesterday morning to rush to an appointment.

Z-Girl: Hi honey.

Z-Boy: What are you doing home?

Z-Girl: I have to go to the doctor. I don't think Stinky is sticking.

Z-Boy: Oh no.

Have I ever told you how wonderful he is? Yes? Well, it bears repeating. My husband is too awesome for words, really. He's said nothing but the perfect things and I'm not going to share them with you because I love being the special person who gets to know how truly thoughtful and caring he is. Neener!

I've been, shall we say, gassy, lately. Hence nicknaming the offspring-to-be (or not-to-be) Stinky. If that's silly, fuck it. We only get to be pregnant for, like, a week anyway, so whatever. I'll take all the liberties I feel like in that damn week.

I can say a lot without having to say much at all. Here are some words and phrases that have been pounding in my head since yesterday's appointment...

...Spotting can be normal...brown...old blood would be's not red...cramps can be normal...ectopic...blood test...HCG should double by Sunday if everything is okay...things may be wrong...but they could be okay...IF you have a third one, that's the magic number where we start taking things really la la...

Sticking my fingers in my ears and singing Mary Had a Little Lamb at the top of my lungs isn't making those words go away. I can't stop obsessing. I just want to know.

I've stopped bleeding. And it really wasn't much at all.

I've stopped cramping. But they were VERY crampy and very scary.

My cervix is still closed and not tender. Which is good, I've been told.

I threw up this morning. It would be nice if THAT would go away if I'm not going to remain knocked up much longer.

The tatas, they are still hurting. That's how I knew for sure that something was wrong the last two times. Even before they went REALLY wrong. The tata pain abated. Not this time, though.

So, I'd like to be hopeful, but I'm finding it tough. I've looked in every corner of my mind for a little hope and found only a few glimmers. I'll work with those. If ya'll have hope to spare, please send it this way. I'm like a Hope Whore right now. I've used up my stash and now I'm eyeballing other people's.

As always, thank you. I'll know for certain Monday. Or sooner if things go wrong.

Hopefully, you won't hear from me until Monday.

30 Leg Humps:

The Book Fiend said...

I'll be keeping everything crossed for you guys - you deserve a break after all the sh*t you've gone through. Really hoping you & stinky will get the chance to get to know each other coz I think you'd be awesome parents & that would be one lucky kid.

Hang in there.

Best of luck!

Becki said...

Sending 3/4 of my HOPE! (Gotta keep a little for myself cause I'm a stingy bitch like that).

Rich | Championable said...

Passing on some good thoughts from Clan Championable.

- r

me said...

We are keeping our fingers crossed for you. Did the doctor explain implantation bleeding to you? Sounds like that was what it was. I had exactly the same thing...could have sworn the test was wrong and the "visitor" was commin with the worst cramps I have a 10 month old. And the throwing up..."they" say the sicker you are, the more healthy the baby! It was sure true for both of my boys....Good Luck! Here's hoping you'll have to miss your St. Patty's Day green beer. :)


junebee said...

Zubegirl, I am ALWAYS, ALWAYS hoping for you. I wish there was some way I could help. I will check back EVERY day (Well, I do anyway, because you're so freakin' funny). Hope you have a fantastic weekend.

Florida gave up having weights on driver's licenses. Probably because too many people lied about it. We just have the height on that too. One thing I noticed when I was single, women understate their weight and men overstate their height.

Phil said...

Dear ZubeGirl, thank you for your recent order from Nomad Enterprises. Below is a copy for your records of items shipped this morning to the address you provided:

1 bucket of Hope
2 pairs Crossed Fingers
1 package Warm Fuzzies
6 cans (size Venti®) Good Thoughts

Total cost: $0.00
Shipping method: Express overnight

As a thank you to our most valued customers, we have included at no additional charge a special, limitted edition copy of "Prayers for You" by the critically acclaimed author, Phil.


Nomad Enterprises Customer Service Department
Echoes in a Nomad's Head

RisibleGirl said...

I am sending EVERY good vibe I have your way. Of course, that leaves me vibe-less, and I could really use them after a week of moving. ;)

I'm just about to hit the weight on my drivers license and plan to go about 20 lbs below that weight.

I'm thinking that I'll 'lose' that license when I'm at my goal weight. I mean, really- who wants to have a license that says they weigh MORE than they do?


AuntieRob said...

Prayers, blessings and all the hope I have to give to you, Zube Boy, and Stinky.

justdawn said...

I don't have any dire need for my hope, good thoughts or sticky baby vibes right here's to *Stinky*, Z-Boy and the Momma-to-Be:) Relax and try to enjoy impending parenthood...the morning sickness symptoms should serve as nothing but reassurance to you that your Little Bean is busy completing cell division and whatnot. At 6-7 should be able to see the heartbeat via ultrasound...after suffering two miscarraiges, myself, it always made me feel better to have visible proof that things were doing what they were supposed to be doing.

Erin said...

I'll tell you what. I am FANTASTIC at obessing over things possibly not working out. So I'll obsess and you take a nap, 'kay?

Sending good vibes :)

Lisa said...

sending you every little single ounce of hope that I can muster that Stinky will stick!!

Gary said...

Good luck. My fingers are crossed for you.

Storm said...

ah, yes, the pregnancy fart. I've never had them, but I once had a dog that did.

All my good thoughts are being sent your way!!

Survivin said...

J.T. and I are sending you lots of prayers and positive thoughts. I've been there and know the anxiety you are feeling, know you are not alone and that you have lots of people praying for you Zube girl.

courtney said...

I haven't been commenting lately, just lurking and reading, but I am most definitely thinking of you and crossing all that I can cross.

Anonymous said...

With a name like "Stinky", he/she has got to make it!I am spending the week-end transferring old vhs tapes to DVD's seeing all those old baby showers,hospital shots, first bath,first food, first step movies... I kept picturing you! I believe in stuff like that!

littlefeet said...

hugs to you...


Psychobabble said...

~Sends tape to hold Stinky in place~

Good luck you guys!

Chickie said...

May your titties keep on hurting!

Khali said...

Aiee, add my good wishes to the heaps of good vibes I see here. I hoe all is well with 'stinky'!!

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Baba said...

Good luck, I hope you get good news today, you certainly deserve it.

Keeping everything crossed for you :)

SO said...

Hi Zube and stinky,

Sending you lots and lots of hope from the UK (its a slightly different brand from US hope, and I thought you could use some different brands?). My mum lost 2 before she had me, and I made her throw up a lot (apparently every 15 mins for 3 months - I think she's lying though!). She also bled with me, and in an attempt to keep me she went to bed for 3 weeks! It worked though, so do get lots of rest, and hope you keep puking.

With fingers crossed,
SO. x

Spider Walk said...

I have been where you are at, and it's the worst feeling in the world. The best part is that my daughter was the end product of all the bleeding, cramping, and sore tatas. There is lot's of hope for you and stinky. I will keep all 3 of you in my thoughts and prayers.

Bonanza Jellybean said...

Like I said on the phone, that all sounds pretty familiar. And I have a munchkin to show for it!!

And I'm sending about 78 pounds of Hope via UPS Overnight. :)

justdawn said...

Just hoping that no news is GOOD news!!!

~*~*~*~*sticky baby vibes*~*~*~*~

Kylei said...

Its monday morning hopefully the fact you have said neeanada is good! I wish you all of the luck in the world if anyone deserves to be a mommy it just may be you. ohh an Zboy sounds like he would be a wonderful daddy too ;)

Ginamonster said...

you can have all my hope since it tends to be misplaced anyway. I am more than happy to give it to a good cause.

Territorial said...

Sending positive thoughts!!!! Hope all is well

Hope said...

I've been lurking here for a bit now, and thought I might come out of the shadows since my name seems fitting to this post. I swear it's my real name, so I think I've got some hope to spare. From reading you for a while now I think you'd make an excellent mother. Best wishes!


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