It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's...the Lamest Fucking Title That Ever Was!

Last night I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning and shaking the blankets to release Zube Boy's flatulent airy deposits. I had a little farting contest with him, but it wasn't all that fun because he was sleeping the whole time. And he still kept winning. Without even paying attention! I felt kind of loserish, so I seceded.

After I dropped out of the contest, I started fretting because it TOTALLY felt like there was something in the corner staring at me. It was weird. I HATE that. So, I wrapped my blanket around my head, squeezed my eyes shut and tried to ignore the fact that I'm pretty sure a ghost lives in the corner of our bedroom. Fucker.

I got to thinking about Superhero School and how I should go and get my degree and stuff. I was REAL excited, mostly about my outfit. I'm leaning towards a purple, leather body-suit with pink cape and a silver tiara. I feel sexier just thinking about it. Zube Boy would SO dig it.

Anyway, I'm not too sure what I'll specialize in yet. Maybe I'll try my hand at fighting ghosts. Though, poetic justice would most likely have it that, while I can kick OTHER people's ghosts' asses, my own ghosts would always elude me. And that would kind of suck. But that's the life of a superhero, I guess.

After careful thought, I drew my superhero self...

Don't I look cute? My pig-tail on the one side looks a little limp. I think I'll need a new hair-do upon graduation, which shouldn't be a problem because I bet Superheros make an assload of money. I hope so anyway.

I considered having a contest wherein I ask all of you fine folks to share with me a rendition of YOUR superhero outfit. I'd post them here and readers would vote on the best and the winner would get a PRIZE! An undetermined prize as of yet.

But then I realized that despite evidence to the contrary, I'm really fucking sensitive and if no one participated I'd feel like a ginormous ass and cry into my pillow every night. So, I decided not to have a contest. Unless, uh, there is an overwhelming DEMAND for a contest or if I happen to find numerous, or even, ONE entry in my inbox at tzubemcmahon@yahoo.com. Then, you know, I might just be compelled to have a contest.

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HOLY SHIT! Ya'll actually WANT to play! Whee!

Okay, here are a couple of rules:

1. I've set a deadline tentatively for this Sunday at midnight (Mountain Standard Time because if I have to watch the fucking ball drop at 10:00PM and feel like New Year's is over every damn year then all you East Coasters can go by my watch. Besides, it's cool 'cause you'll have an extra two hours. Sorry West Coast. You lose one.)

2. As far as the image, well, there really aren't any rules. Feel free to use ANY medium you feel will unleash your inner ARTEEST. Whether it be a crayon drawing you take a picture of and e-mail me or an actual photo of you in an outfit YOU made or something you draw on Paint Shop Pro or, or, WHATEVER! Really. I don't care if you want to be the fucking Super-Cheerio Heerio and glue cereal on a piece of construction paper. Or, uh, all over yourself. Just, you know, have fun. That's what it's all about.

3. If you'd like your entry to link back to your blog, please let me know in the e-mail!

This? Is fucking exciting. I can't wait to see my superhero friends.

Oh yeah, feel free to have a little profile. Like, what are your superpowers and shit like that.