Tuesday, April 11, 2006

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's...the Lamest Fucking Title That Ever Was!

Last night I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning and shaking the blankets to release Zube Boy's flatulent airy deposits. I had a little farting contest with him, but it wasn't all that fun because he was sleeping the whole time. And he still kept winning. Without even paying attention! I felt kind of loserish, so I seceded.

After I dropped out of the contest, I started fretting because it TOTALLY felt like there was something in the corner staring at me. It was weird. I HATE that. So, I wrapped my blanket around my head, squeezed my eyes shut and tried to ignore the fact that I'm pretty sure a ghost lives in the corner of our bedroom. Fucker.

I got to thinking about Superhero School and how I should go and get my degree and stuff. I was REAL excited, mostly about my outfit. I'm leaning towards a purple, leather body-suit with pink cape and a silver tiara. I feel sexier just thinking about it. Zube Boy would SO dig it.

Anyway, I'm not too sure what I'll specialize in yet. Maybe I'll try my hand at fighting ghosts. Though, poetic justice would most likely have it that, while I can kick OTHER people's ghosts' asses, my own ghosts would always elude me. And that would kind of suck. But that's the life of a superhero, I guess.

After careful thought, I drew my superhero self...

Don't I look cute? My pig-tail on the one side looks a little limp. I think I'll need a new hair-do upon graduation, which shouldn't be a problem because I bet Superheros make an assload of money. I hope so anyway.

I considered having a contest wherein I ask all of you fine folks to share with me a rendition of YOUR superhero outfit. I'd post them here and readers would vote on the best and the winner would get a PRIZE! An undetermined prize as of yet.

But then I realized that despite evidence to the contrary, I'm really fucking sensitive and if no one participated I'd feel like a ginormous ass and cry into my pillow every night. So, I decided not to have a contest. Unless, uh, there is an overwhelming DEMAND for a contest or if I happen to find numerous, or even, ONE entry in my inbox at tzubemcmahon@yahoo.com. Then, you know, I might just be compelled to have a contest.

*****************************************************

HOLY SHIT! Ya'll actually WANT to play! Whee!

Okay, here are a couple of rules:

1. I've set a deadline tentatively for this Sunday at midnight (Mountain Standard Time because if I have to watch the fucking ball drop at 10:00PM and feel like New Year's is over every damn year then all you East Coasters can go by my watch. Besides, it's cool 'cause you'll have an extra two hours. Sorry West Coast. You lose one.)

2. As far as the image, well, there really aren't any rules. Feel free to use ANY medium you feel will unleash your inner ARTEEST. Whether it be a crayon drawing you take a picture of and e-mail me or an actual photo of you in an outfit YOU made or something you draw on Paint Shop Pro or, or, WHATEVER! Really. I don't care if you want to be the fucking Super-Cheerio Heerio and glue cereal on a piece of construction paper. Or, uh, all over yourself. Just, you know, have fun. That's what it's all about.

3. If you'd like your entry to link back to your blog, please let me know in the e-mail!

This? Is fucking exciting. I can't wait to see my superhero friends.

Oh yeah, feel free to have a little profile. Like, what are your superpowers and shit like that.

21 Leg Humps:

angel said...

sounds like fun zube- gimme a coupla days to think of something...

Crazy Like A Fox said...

I'll enter. I'm envisioning my costume now.

Happy Villain said...

HAH! I sent you mine! I'm not as talented as you in the drawing with Paint department but I have found programs that cater to my lack of skill. :) And I tweak them accordingly.

Ginamonster said...

I want to play! I alredy have my super skills and my weaknesses, I just need an outfit. I will send it to you.

Bonanza Jellybean said...

I'm on it!!! Give me a few days.

Phil said...

But what if ghosts are your Kryptonite, Zube? Then you're kinda screwed.

Dammit. Now I'm going to have to spend a bunch of time coming up with a superhero costume entry. And I can't even use my real one because then it would blow my secret identity out of the water.

Phil
Echoes in a Nomad's Head

Zube Girl said...

Angel- You've got 'til Sunday! Thank you for considering participating!

Crazy- I think your super-powers will involve smacking down asshats. But maybe that's just me!

Happy Villain- I got it and you rock! And fuck SKILL! You've got skillz, sistah.

Ginamonster- I can't wait to see your entry! Hee! I wonder if there will be super ducks involved. ;-)

Bonanza- Given how fucking cute our template over at we three looks? I'm betting your entry will be HOT!

Phil- I KNEW that you would participate! I don't know why. But certainly don't give away your REAL superhero identity! Just hint at it.

Kylei said...

Seacretly hoping to go into labor so I can send you a real graphic picture, Cause I can think of a thousand different super hero powers to go with a caption like that, but I don't know if my little girl will just hop out on command for my amusement. I will start working on a backup plan now and runnning stairs latter...

junebee said...

Oh geez, I stink at this sort of thing. But it will be great to see other people's entries.

Samantha said...

I suck at this, but I'll really really try to come up with something!

Have you ever considered writing childrens stories? You are SO creative, and you have such a way with words, I bet you would be great at it.

Lisa said...

Umm.... I'm going to be Super Invisible Girl... Yeah.. And here's my picture right here:

kyknoord said...

Here's my costume: . You like? Perhaps I should mention that I am NAKEDMAN. I haven't included a picture because - well - when I'm in costume, the evil-doers stop what they're doing and shriek, "my eyes, my eyes". Wouldn't want to inflict that on law-abiding citizens, would we?

justdawn said...

I am SO in:) This oughtta be fun! heh

RisibleGirl said...

Oh BOY! I'll play!

Bellarosa said...

Oh, count me in! I love playing!!

Ginamonster said...

ducks! maybe I shoud be a bad guy and they can be my minions! or maybe I can just have them flying around me! ooh! fun! Sadly, like a cape, I don't think I can draw ducks on Microsoft Paint. I'm still proud of my banana though.

Zube Girl said...

Kylei- Maybe if you explain to her that you need proof of your superhero powers right quick, she'll oblige?

Junebee- You all will enjoy them. At least from what I've seen so far!

Samantha- Funny you should mention, Zube Boy and I were just talking about me going back to school to finish my teaching degree. Hmmm...

Lisa- What! I can't see you! Oh yeah. That's the point. Heh.

Kyknoord- Are you mad at your pants, too? You should blast them with your ray gun!

Justdawn- Yay! I can't wait to see all these entries!

Risiblegirl- Woohoo! And you already have a superhero name!

Bellarosa- Sweet! I'm excited.

Ginamonster- The banana was awesome!

Exquisite Chick said...

I'm with Junebee, I stink at this sort of thing too, but am sooo looking forward to seeing the entries.

Btw, I've read here a few times but this is the first time I've actually commented so just thought I'd say Hi! Great blog!

Dutch Oven said...

Can me and Zube Boy team up to be the Dutch Ovens of Death? We carry bedsheets that we pull over unsuspecting heads.

Since I can't draw for shit, I'll have to get SuperTramp to come up with something.

justdawn said...

Alrighty, Zubegirl...my submission is complete:)

RisibleGirl said...

Ya know- I've done this a while back and keep going back to it.

I don't think I'd change a thing....

So here's mine:

http://www.mostlyrisible.com/index.php/weblog/comments/my_superhero_alter_ego/

 

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